The Hardest Choice
by Ravenclaw-Rose
Summary: [Fiddler on The Roof] 'I just don’t know if I can leave one of the most important men in my life for the other' One Shot


The Hardest Choice

What was he saying?

"Go against everything my papa said, run away, get married. No I couldn't." she said to Fyedka. "I wish I was able too. For you, my love. But I'm scared."

"Chava, if we are together then what is there to fear I ask you?" said Fyedka. "Do you not love me?"

"Don't be a fool. You know I do. I just don't know if I can leave one of the most important men in my life for the other,." she said to him.

"Your father would accept us in time. Chava if we wed then he would have too!" he said as he wrapped his arms around her.

"And you know that do you?" she asked. If only he was Jew. Then there would be nothing to stop her being his wife but he was not. And now she had to put her faith on the line, as well as her place in the family she had been raised in to be with him.

"No, but I know he wouldn't want to lose you. I have watched you for so long and I know how close you both are. He loves you greatly."

"But he loves our religion too." she stated. "I really have to go and think about this." she didn't want to betray her father. He had raised her. Held her when she had been scared. He had been the best father a girl had ever wanted.

But then every thing in a space of a few months had changed for her and her family. Hodel had gone to be with the man she loved, and Tzeitel and Motel had a baby. She wanted her of life back. When she and sister's just dreamt of men, didn't actually have them. When the only man in their life was their beloved papa.

"Ok, but please, tomorrow give me an answer. I want you for my wife Chava. There is and never will be another for me." He said.

Turning on her heal she nodded. She had to take all this in. She had a chance of marriage. A chance to do what she had been trained to do all her life. Be a good wife and mother. But must she have to be a bad daughter to do so…and yet she loved Fyedka. What was she to do?

She had already gone against her fathers wishes when she had seen him that day. Tveye was not going to be there for her forever. Who was going to maintain her when he was gone is she did choose to stay with him…and if she did, then would she just end up married to a man she hated any way?

She felt terrible for it. She had never gone against her fathers will. Till now…they had always been so close. She had been able to tell him any thing ever since she had been tiny. She and her sistes all adored him, but she had always been the biggest Papa's girl of all.

But… she loved Fyedka. She wanted to give him sons and daughters. She wanted to cook his meals, mend his clothes and be loyal only to him.

He was the one she wanted now.

Getting back to the house she didn't know what she wanted , but as she walked over to the front door, she realized the barn door was open. Going over to it, she looked in to find her father.

"Papa, did you hare a good day?" she asked and she saw his face which had looked troubled turned to joy. How could she take herself away from him? But…

"My little one, it is better for seeing you!" he said as he hugged her tight.

Knowing if she went in the end to be her loves bride, that perhaps this may be the last chance she was ever going to get to have him to herself again she rushed forward to hug him. If she married outside her faith then she was going to be dead to him. When was he ever going to want to give her any of the affection he did now ever again. They had never been a rich family, but there papa had never let them go with out his love and that had always been enough.

Feeling her cling to him more than she would normally Tveye worried. Was something troubling his little bird?

"Chavaela my child is every thing ok?" he whispered softly to her. He didn't know why but he had always treated her more carefully than any of her sisters. She had always appeared to him more fragile.

"Yes papa," she said as she tried not to let her tears flow in to her eyes.

"Has one of your books had an unhappy ending?" he asked, and she nodded. That had been what she had needed her father to say. It was a lie, but she nodded. She had some thing to work with now!

"Yes papa. It was horrible. There was a daughter, and she was always fathers little girl. But then she fell in love with a handsome stranger but her father did not approve of the boy. He disowned her in the end because she married without is consent." she said to him.

"Well my little bird that was a horrible ending. Not the type of story I thought you enjoyed." commented Tveye. It hadn't even occurred to him that she was planning to do just that…

"I didn't enjoy it papa. I didn't know it was going to end like that. Its just…well she went through so much to get her love and her father did not understand. Papa - I … I just wanted to see - you know – papa," she said as she put her head in her hands. She had so much she wanted to say to him and yet none of it came out right. He was never going to understand her choice! How could he?

"Child," said Tveye as he looked at her. "It was a story. Nothing more. Don't let it bother you Chavaela."

"But I do…what with my sisters getting married. What if one day some thing goes wrong when I marry - and you hate me…papa…" she said as she let out her emotions unwillingly.

Taking his dear daughter in his arms, Tveye sighed. The girl had scared her self clearly.

"No…Never." he said he hugged her tight. "No matter what you did I could never hate you, nor any of your sisters. I love you all too much."

Looking up at him she nodded. Clearly he had not read what was beneath the story. He stroked her cheek and kissed her forehead. "I will meet you inside." he said as he walked in and left her to her thoughts.

_He could never hate me…not really_. _Then I know what I must do. Go to Fyedka._

Going out to the barn, she looked down their yard and as if called by her heart there, he stood. Her groom to be.

She nodded and he knew what it meant. Yes. She would be his wife.


End file.
